you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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