My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
