haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
