Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
