If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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