you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So apparently I’m into choking now
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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