She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
