Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
