she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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