I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
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boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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