I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
