She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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