STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
