but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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