I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
