I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
