Kiss
Puke
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
