you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
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I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
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I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Shame - the story of my life.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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