yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
