The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
