What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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