I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize