Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
