When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
