Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
