pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Randomize
