No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
