Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
