I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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