Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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