evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
