i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
