im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
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