I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
