can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
