do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
