Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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