hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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