I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
