think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
