I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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