You're my little dorito
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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