like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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