yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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