also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
This is the high leading the old right now
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
