We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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