Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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