no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
