god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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