Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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