She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
