Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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