Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
