last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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