Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
