But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
