Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
