Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize