theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
