I saw his package. It spoke to me.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
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