He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
